>> Mary-Kate and Ashley Fire Michael Pagnotta

February 19th, 2006 - Articles, Related

NOTE: Although it is true Mr. Pagnotta left his position at Dualstar, the VH1 interview below was fabricated by me for satirical purposes - Michael Shipley

“F*ck you Mary-Kate and Ashley!”

Page Six

“LONGTIME FLACK GETS THE OLSEN BOOT

AFTER more than a decade of guiding their career, p.r. man Michael Pagnotta has been dumped by Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen and replaced with Annett Wolff. Pagnotta, who was given the pink slip earlier this month, tells PAGE SIX: “It’s been 13-plus years I worked with them. I was able to accomplish a tremendous amount for them. Change is good.” Wolff declined to comment on whether or not Ashley is dating L.A. club owner Greg Chaite.”

Mr. Pagnotta then went on VH1 to vent his frustration after being unceremoniously thrown out of Dualstar offices and banned from returning. Here’s a transcript:

VH1: “Ok Michael. Tell us your side of the story.”

MP: “First I’d like to make a statement.”

VH1: “Alright but hurry.”

MP: “F*ck you Mary-Kate and Ashley!”

VH1: “How touching. Now get on with juicy stuff.”

MP: “It was horrible. I was sitting in my office eating my usual pastrami on rye when in bursts these two huge guys with baseball bats. They proceeded to smash every thing in my office!”

VH1: “Oh my God!”

MP: “God had nothing to do with these demons from hell.”

VH1: “Then what happened?”

MP: “Well I was terrified as you can imagine.”

VH1: “Yes but nobody cares about that. Just tell us what happened next!”

MP: “After they finished smashing everything to bits, they grabbed me and started hauling me to the exit. I asked ‘Why why?!’ They said, ‘Fired fired!’ I asked them why they were told to smash everything and they said, ‘We weren’t.’ “

VH1: “Oh that is just evil. Simon Cowell evil.”

MP: “Tell me about it.”

VH1: “What happened next?”

MP: “I demanded to speak to the girls but I was told they were out of the country. Yeah right my ass.”

VH1: “But they are out of the country. They’re in Australia right now.”

MP: “How convenient!”

VH1: “What are you going to do now Michael?”

MP: “I’ve been offered a job at that extremely popular and very shweet web site Olsen Twins News. It’s only natural since I’ve been feeding them inside info for years now. Hey do you think that’s why I was fired?”

VH1: “Duh.”

But seriously… do you see what I see? I definitely see a pattern here. All the men at Dualstar are being replaced with fembots. We’re witnessing the final feminization of Dualstar folks. First Robert now Michael. Who’s next?

If there are any males left there they must be real nervous right about now, know what I’m sayin? If you don’t have estrogen coursing through your veins then you better forget working for MK&A.

If I’m ever to personally infiltrate that organization I’m going to have to change my name to Michelle and get a sex change — or gain 50 pounds of muscle and be one of their bodyguards. Think I prefer the sex change.

source: Livejournal.com/ Mkaolsen

Search Olsen Twins NEWS

16 Comments

Make a comment

Note: Comments are now in reverse order, newest first.

  1. hi, if u want to speak with a french >> benjamin_moreau@hotmail.com
    bises a bientot Ben

    Anonymous — April 11, 2008 @ 10:07 am

  2. we luv u mary kate and ashley you are the best in the world use rok dnt listen to wehat people say use ARE THE BEST

    Amar and ramz — May 9, 2006 @ 1:17 pm

  3. Everything that Mr.Pagnotta has stated is absolutely true. Why? Becouse a little green Elf told me so. lol

    Kenny — May 7, 2006 @ 6:47 am

  4. that is so not true, i dont think they wud smash everythink in his odffice n the news reprter wudnt say “we dnt care get on with the juicy stuff”. :!: :!: :neutral: so it obviosly aint true
    c ya x :wink:

    samantha — March 28, 2006 @ 2:07 am

  5. :smile:I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU ADI…:smile: :smile:

    danace — February 28, 2006 @ 5:47 pm

  6. I don’t think that it maybe fake however you can never tell …….Besides IF he was fired by the twins they probably have a good reason to fire him.

    I will always love mka and I trust their judgement and if they don’t think pagnatta is giving the dulstar company what they neeed to move on then by all means I trust mka’s desion of fireing him.:???:

    Adi — February 19, 2006 @ 7:50 pm

  7. this is fake. I lv mk & ash

    Talintha — February 19, 2006 @ 7:02 pm

  8. The man who is fired by mka is very silly !
    WHY HE SAID THAT ? I mean that what stands under the photo !

    Biggest Olsenfan of the World ! — February 19, 2006 @ 3:58 pm

  9. You mean posting comments? Not that I know of.

    Michael Shipley — February 19, 2006 @ 2:55 pm

  10. Hay Michael has Rachael been emailing this sight yet because she used to but now she doesn’t well she doesn’t email me!!

    teisha — February 19, 2006 @ 2:48 pm

  11. It looks true, except the interview. :mrgreen:

    Michael Shipley — February 19, 2006 @ 2:16 pm

  12. Hi michael, this one is cool. but can you tell me if this is true?if its true please can you tell me why there have fired him? thanks

    david — February 19, 2006 @ 2:07 pm

  13. Huh?!

    Baby — February 19, 2006 @ 12:04 pm

  14. Whatever… i lovethis OLSEN twins ever…
    I’m third…. it’s quite good than the rest..
    He he he…
    Luv you guyss…
    I’m still to get back there at U.S.

    MISSS YUH FRIENDS>>>>>>>>

    Anonymous — February 19, 2006 @ 11:55 am

  15. Fake?? Really?? You think so??

    (Warning! Some news items are satirical, use adult language, and could give you bad dreams)

    Satirical? As in Fake? Oh say it isn’t so…. >laffs

    Rich — February 19, 2006 @ 11:44 am

  16. This Sounds A Little Fake, But, I Love Mary- Ashley

    Emlguerr — February 19, 2006 @ 10:44 am

RSS feed for comments on this post.

No registration required.

 

Recent Comments

Make a comment