Ashley Olsen’s Heart is Broken Again

I know she likes mature men but this is ridiculous.

I mean really Ashley, The Thinker? Isn’t he like 105 or something? What in the world could you guys have in common? Rolexes? I can’t see his father approving of this.


Auguste Rodin

"Je n’approuve pas Ashley Olsen!"

Ya see? Rodin is French and the French don’t know who the hell the Olsen twins are so she has no cache with him.

It was up to me to tell the poor guy. It wasn’t pretty. He argued he threatened he cried he pleaded. The ground shook as he paced back and forth almost in a panic.

"No one will keep us apart!"

But after an hour of ranting and raving he stopped. He decided to not act emotionally, to think with his head instead of his heart. He sat down, and thought about it.

A great sadness began to permeat every carbonated fiber of his metal being. His shoulders creaked as they rounded in despair, his head slumped as if a great weight had been placed upon it, his glossy skin eroded and lost it’s metallic sheen, rusted silvery tears started to steam down his face. Suddenly, all emotion drained from him. He got up, and walked away.

But at the last possible moment, he stopped. With all his might he forced himself to stand up straight, his lips parted to show gritted teeth that let slip through it a growl that vibrated the very walls. He held his head high, wiped away his silvery tears and turned to Ashley defiantly.

He gazed upon her and felt a surge of love build up inside him like he never felt before. Their eyes met, he opened his mouth as if to call out to her, to say he couldn’t live with out her, that they were meant to be together forever.

But the words wouldn’t come.

He looked at me and his father and his strength left him. His head went down, and he uttered, very quietly, a phrase he heard in a play once when he was a only a child.

"Good night, good night sweet Ashley. Parting is such sweet sorrow."

Ashley tried to run to him but I held her back. She cried openly now in my arms and just as quietly whispered.

"Yes it is my love, yes it is."

Double-olsens



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