"Hey you, photographer! You can kiss this! On the other hand, don’t. Ew."
"You can kiss this instead. Preferably the lit end."
"Oops. I farted."
"<bang> Whoa. Who put this door here. No need to answer, that was a rhetorical question."
"Talk to the back jack cause I gotta go pack, heart attack crack rack."
"Oh all right go ahead and kiss it you big baby. Can’t stand to see a grown man cry."