Due to a scheduling conflict all of Ashley's meatsheilds had the day off therefore Ashley had to do the daily TWEPs herself. Today there were 47. Slightly more than usual, she thought. So much jealousy in this world, sigh.

She prepared for the job by watching T3.

"If only Mary-Kate could see me now. I am so Kristanna Loken baby. Only much better looking natch! Psych! Ok time to start scanning for my first victim. "

Ashley activates her Blackberry DisTracker and dialed it in to search for disser #47. Disser #47 had the nerve to call Ashley fat. "Like no way man. I am a fricken rail. Feel this, this is muscle. This bitch is toast." Almost immediately the Blackberry starts beeping furiously. She sweeps it around and zeros in on a woman holding a baby.

"Wow that was fast. So, that must be disser #47. My what a cute little baby. Too bad your going to be an orphan soon."

Ashley approaches the woman nonchalantly then asks in a deep Austrian accent...

"Are you Sarah Connah?"

"Say what?"

"Nevermind. Are you the one who made the comment that I was fat which it like totally not true duh?"

"What the? How about no ok? Fuck off."

Ashley was totally perplexed.

"Strange. It says right here on my DisTracker that I'm right next to the person who dissed me. Weird. Ill try again..."

Ashley once again addresses the lady with the baby.

"Did you or did you not make a comment at OTN about me being fat which is totally not true I mean could I BE any skinnier?"

"Go away freak. Jesus LA is full of freaks."

Poor Ashley walks away frustrated.

"This is getting frustrating! Omg like I have to remember to thank Mary-Kate for lending me these boots. I am loving them so much it hurts. I mean like literally -- my feet are killing me baby."

"Hmm. Wait. That gives me an idea. Ok let's try this..."

Ashley runs back to the woman, and looks straight at the baby.

"Hey you! Baby! Did you dis me?"

Amazingly, the baby speaks!

"Yeth! I admit it and I'm proud of it! What are you going to do about it fatty? Go ahead make my day."

Ashley grins.

"You got it dude."

She points her Blackberry at the baby and pushes the TWEP button. Zap. The baby disappears. Her Blackberry automatically sends an encrypted signal to the OTN web site and the dissing comment disappears as well. Mission accomplished. The woman, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, looks at the empty space where the baby used to be, then looks at Ashley in astonishment.

"My baby! What have you done with my baby!"

Ashley thinks for a moment then laughs that cute adorable laugh she does when she's embarrassed.

"Ooops, sorry mam I forgot the second part. Guess this will be on the blooper reel huh?"

Quickly, Ashley points her Blackberry at the freaked out woman and pushes the ERASE MEMORY button. A flash of light erupts from the Blackberry, illuminating the woman's face. All memory of the incident drains away from her mind. Ashley moves on to search for her next disser-er.

"Well that wasn't so hard now was it?"

source: Nicoleforum

credit: Trenchcoatwins.net (reg. req.)

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