Thanks to blankspace for this amazing photo. What is happening in this photo you say? No it's not a scene from Brokeback Mountain 2 - Liam's Tale.

Here are the basics. The dog in this photo is, as most fans know, Ashley's dog Liam. The man is Father Hayden. What happened will horrify you. But the story must be told.

blankspace, in fear of her immortal soul, couldn't give me any details about the photo. So I tapped into my spy network that permeate every nook and cranny of Mary-Kate and Ashley's private lives. This is what I found out.

Liam wasn't responding to training. You'd tell him to sit and he'd say,

"There is no Liam only Zool."

Ashley began to get a sneaking suspicion that this problem with Liam wasn't natural. Maybe it was supernatural. There was only one thing to do -- call Father Hayden. Hayden wasn't just some average everyday priest. Oh no. He was a good friend and fellow NYU classmate.

Although he didn't believe a dog could be possessed he came right over to give Ashley his opinion. He walked up to Liam and jokingly said,

 "Yo dog. Your all possessed and shit right?"

Liam just sat there and panted peacefully. Hayden turned to Ashley and said it was just as he thought and oh my god something was biting him.

"Get him off me!"

Liam had pounced and was locked onto his crotch. Ashley grabbed Liam by the hind legs, pulled as hard as she could and managed to detach him. Liam looked right at Hayden and hissed with what seemed like a chorus of menacing voices:

"Volo anaticulam cumminosam meam!"
("I want my rubber ducky!")

Hayden, now on top of the couch, looked down his pants, felt relieved, then cried, "Whoa. Dude. I ain't got your duck so get the fuck away from me."

Hayden was, uh, convinced. He made a quick nervous call to the Vatican and, for a donation of a few million dollars in unmarked non-sequential bills, they agreed to send an exorcism strike team out.

Ashley made the transfer and within minutes there was a knock at the door. Their diagnosis? Liam was indeed possessed. When they attempted to identify which demon had taken over his body, all they could get out of him was:

"Call us legion for we are many.
And your mother wears army boots."

That was just uncalled for.

The Vatican decided to assign young Father Hayden to do the exorcism. Why one so young and inexperienced? Because it helped to have a personal bond with the owner. He also just happened to be considered a genius in the exorcism field. His claim to fame? Doing what the other snarky priest interns called "a Hayden." Hayden prefers to call it his QEDRM or Quick n' Easy Demon Remover Maneuver® (patent pending all rights reserved).

Unfortunately it doesn't always work right. This time, instead of banishing the demon it shrunk Liam's little demon.

Needless to say Liam, somewhere deep inside his tortured soul, was rolling his eyes and very pissed. Can't say I blame him.

source: blankspace @ olsen-fan.net/forum

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