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Ashley Olsen's spokesman Michael Pagnotta has released a statement in response to PETA's accusation that Ashley is one of the worst dressed women in 2004 by wearing fur coats.
"Ashley has apologized to PETA for wearing fur. She's had a change of heart and said, 'I would rather go naked than wear the skins of animals.' "
"To prove she was sincere she agreed to appear in the latest PETA ad campaign called, 'I would rather humiliate myself by showing my naked butt than get paint thrown in my face by some deranged animal lovers.' "
"Tragically," Pagnotta continues, "while in the shower she was attacked and swallowed by a large snake. A snake we learned PETA recently let loose in it's natural habitat, central park, after 'rescuing' it from a local animal testing lab. The lab was one day away from a cure for cancer by the way."
"Fortunately, Mary-Kate just happened to be there and was able to extract Ashley from the snake. Ashley is fine now thanks to Mary-Kate. And now I will take your questions."
Reporters balked at the thought of little MK battling such a huge reptile. Pagnotta reluctantly agreed to screen a video clip of the event (explaining that Mary-Kate and Ashley are recorded at all times for legal purposes and for a possible reality show).
Pagnotta refused to release the clip to the public but did agree to release some vidcaps and a few short transcripts:
Transcript: "<sound of teeth chattering>Uh, nice snake...p-p-please don't eat me you yucky slimy horrible thing... you know s-s-tatistically humans are not one of your p-p-prey animals and ...oh my God your eating me! And after I was all nice to ..mmrrph!"
Transcript: "......Ok that's it you seasick sea serpent, your going down! You've made a powerful enemy today my friend....nobody swallows my sister whole and gets away with it....Somebody hand me my drumsticks and a towel, this is gonna get messy.....<sounds of drumsticks twirling at amazingly high speed>...You think Monday is a bitch, wait'll you get a load a me you sorry excuse for a handbag....<hissing sound>...Oh, hiss at me will ya? I'll wizzleworf your fricken hoozldam Anny Conda! By the way, you should see ME naked. I'm glorious!....Yaaaaaaah!....<sounds of snake meat getting sliced and diced>"
Transcript:
Ash: "<wimpering sounds>...Ooooh my gosh...I feel terrible...thank you Mary-Kate...that thing didn't listen to reason!...ugh I need a bath..."
MK: "<pant>...your welcome Ash...<pant>...that'll teach that...<pant>...PETA (pain een the ass) snake...<pant>...to mess with my sister...<pant>!"
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i love you mary-kate and ashley like litteraly love you i want to make sweet hot love to you i want to touch you **** and i want you to touh mine. this is my dream having a lesbian threesome with you hot sexy ****** twins i just wish i can find a naked picture of you.one more thing the thing that turns me on the most is that we have the same name ashley.
xoxox
mary ash i like both of you because u are too good i love ash v much . you guys are cooooool
i love u both
marry ash i love u v much
I LOVE BOTH ASHLEY OLSEN AND MARYKATE OLSEN
I LOVE Marry-kate and Ashley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE Marry-kate and Ashley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love Ashley And Mary-Kate
MARYKATE AND ASHLEY OLSEN YOU GIRLS ARE CO-PRESIDENTS OF YOUR COMPANY DUALSTAR WILL YOU GIRLS STILL DO INTERVIEWS APPEAR ON TV SHOWS AND DO TV SHOWS? COULD YOU WRITE TO ME ON YAHOO.COM?
No it was a joke. PETA deserves to be made fun of. They go too far.
Did she really apologize though..?
Anyone who criticizes the Olsens is gonna get it from me because I know they are good people. Wearing fur and torturing animals are two separate things and it’s not fair to terrorize Ashley or anyone else who wears fur in order to further PETAS’s extremist agenda.
It’s not illegal to wear fur and no one should be persecuted for it.
ASHLEY AND MARY-KATE ARE THE MOST WONDERFUL GIRLS IN THE WORLD AND I LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH!
HAhahahahahahaha!!! How funny. She is one of the worst dressed people I have ever seen though. Her and MaryKate have no sense of style.
Hello? thatīs so untrue!!!
the scene is from new york minute. all the pics are from new york minute! you sucks!
IT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! ASIF ITS TRUE!! ASH IS GORG!!