Can Mary-Kate and Ashley beat Van Helsing?

by Michael Shipley
 

There are two things that most affect the success of a movie, it's quality and it's competition.

New York Minute's quality looks good from what we've seen from the trailers, but is it good enough to stand up to the competition on premiere day? Will NYM get the chance it deserves or will it be crushed by the onslaught of Van-Helsing?

To find out the answer to this question let's see what movies New York Minute will be up against when it premieres May 7, and find out which of them can go toe to toe with the Twins. Let the games begin!

Movies that opened the week before New York Minute

Friday, April 30, 2004

Envy - "Ben Stiller and Jack Black play old friends whose relationship is challenged when Black becomes a surprise success in life while Stiller still struggles. Barry Levinson ("Rain Man," "Bandits") directs the comedy."

Mike - This is direct competition to New York Minute. This movie might land a major body blow and send Mary-Kate and Ashley back to the School of Fockers.

Laws of Attraction - "A romantic comedy with two divorce lawyers (Julianne Moore and Pierce Brosnan) who fall in love and complicate their lives, in and out of the courtroom. ("Adam's Rib," anyone?)"

Mike - Not much competition here I'd say. Even thought we all know Ashley likes older men, I don't think her fans do.

Bobby Jones, Stroke of Genius - "A profile of the legendary gentleman of golf, starring James Caviezel in his first film since playing You-Know-Who in 'The Passion of the Christ.' "

Mike - Nothing to worry about. New York Minute will hit a hole in one here.

Godsend - "A thriller about the dark complications of cloning. Greg Kinnear and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos are the parents of a child who dies tragically. Robert De Niro is the doctor who claims that he can restore him to them, in effect, through cloning. Be careful what you wish for."

Mike - No too much of a threat to New York Minute. Totally different audience and seems like it'll be a lame movie anyway. I mean, who'd be interested in people that look exactly alike?

Mean Girls - "A high school comedy about a girl who returns to an Illinois school after living elsewhere, only to find she's scorned by the school's No. 1 clique. "Freaky Friday's" Lindsay Lohan stars."

Mike - Could be a problem. Exact same audience as New York Minute. Lindsay Lohan just might make Mary-Kate and Ashley a social outcast.

Movies opening the same day as New York Minute

Friday, May 7, 2004

Van Helsing  - "A special effects monster mash in which the legendary vampire hunter tackles not only Dracula, but also the Wolfman and Frankenstein's monster. Party on, ghouls. Hugh Jackman is the star of a film that's had a strong buzz ever since the trailer premiered during the Super Bowl."

Mike - Very stiff competition since this type of movie attracts all ages. On the other hand I've heard it is getting some bad pre-reviews here and here and here, so that will dull it's affect on New York Minute. Hold on to your hats ladies and gentleman, this is going to be a very bumpy ride.


Movies opening the following 2 weeks

Friday, May 14, 2004

Breakin' All the Rules - "A comedy with Jamie Foxx as a guy who gets dumped by his girlfriend and then turns lemons into lemonade by publishing a best-selling guide on how to survive a break up."

Mike - Not too much competition here. I'm sure MKA will use their feminine charms to break up this movie in a NYM.

 

Troy - "It's the legendary story of the woman who launched a thousand ships and the Trojan horse that tricked its way to victory. Brad Pitt stars for big-time director Wolfgang Petersen (of "Das Boot")."

Mike - Uh oh, it's Mary-Kate and Ashley versus Brad Pitt. Cross your fingers that he won't eat too much into Mary-Kate and Ashley.

Friday, May 21, 2004

The Clearing - A kidnapping thriller with a first-rate cast: Robert Redford, Helen Mirren and Willem Dafoe.

Mike - No clear threat to New York Minute. NYM should definitely hold The Clearing for ransom.

(update: release date changed to July 2. Think Shrek 2 had something to do with this?)

Shrek 2 - "If this is just half the fun of the first "Shrek," it'll be more fun than any movie since "Shrek." You gotta love the big green guy (played by Mike Myers) and his fractured-fairytale friends. This time, Fiona takes Shrek home to meet her very human family, who have no idea that the newlyweds are both ogres. Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz and Eddie Murphy reprise their roles and John Cleese, Julie Andrews, Larry King and Antonio Banderas round out the voice cast."

Mike - This will be big.  Prediction : major damage to whatever is left of New York Minute's box office. It would take a full FHM pictorial to save NYM now. update: release date changed to May 19.

Summary

So I'd say Mary-Kate and Ashley have a real battle on their hands. Here's a summary of the biggest threats to New York Minute success:

1. The biggest threat is of course Van Helsing. It's a big time special effects monster movie that opens on the same day as New York Minute. It could very easily stomp all over MK&A and suck their blood dry. Scary!
   
   
2. Though Mean Girls opens the previous week it is still a threat. It's a teen comedy with the popular Lindsay Lohan starring. Lindsay just might start b*tch slapping Mary-Kate and Ashley all over the place and put a real hurt on NYM. update: Mean Girls does gang busters at the box office raking in $25million. More reason to worry about it's threat to NYM but good news because NYM appeals to the same audience so NYM potential seem large - link: 'Mean Girls' Surprisingly Nice $25M Weekend
   
   
3. Even though Envy opens the previous week it is still direct competition since it is also a comedy with two top comedians starring in it, and could still be going strong a week later. It could quite easily turn Mary-Kate and Ashley green with, envy. (update: Apr.30: Envy bombs at the box office making only $6.1million . Less reason to worry about it's threat to NYM)
   
   
4. Troy opens a week later but it stars the honorable Mr. Washboard Abs, aka, Brad Pitt. That is a direct threat to New York Minute's long term success. As everyone knows, Pitt is a chick magnet and could have a strong attraction to a major portion of New York Minutes female audience. MKA will need activate full Twin power to fight this Pitt bull. update: a couple of bad reviews
   
   
5. Shrek2 will totally dominate when it opens two weeks later, so forget about much more box office for New York Minute from then on. It will be all ogre.

So will New York Minute be able to stand up and fight or will it go down for the count? Hard to say. The public can be fickle. All I know is NYM will face some daunting competition when it opens, and will only have a two week window to be the success Mary-Kate and Ashley want it to be. Unlike that green meanie Norman Osbourne, they will just have to wait those two weeks to tell if they succeeded.

Related Links
Comingsoon.net: Preview and Projections for the Weekend of May 7, 2004
Time Is Right for Olsen Twins' 'New York Minute'
Movie Release Dates
New York Minute info and links

References :
http://www.azcentral.com/ent/movies/articles/0327springmovie27.html
http://www.movieweb.com/movies/releases/month.php?200405
http://www.comingsoon.net/weekendwarrior/2004/apr30.php
http://www.comingsoon.net/weekendwarrior/